Category Archives: Allgemein

TV RTL Punkt 12, Part 1 / Wonderful May

May 7, 2019

Hello my dears,

since the beginning of the week, I have built a tripod in front of my TV to film the reports at Television RTL Punkt 12.


Television RTL Hessen will make my contribution available via link, there is no need for extra filming. At Punkt 12, however, the amount is embedded in the 2-hour episode … so I’ll shoot it better.

The first part was on Monday. When the second part is broadcast is uncertain for all parties and is spontaneously decided on the same day … so I look now every day Punkt 12 and wait for it.











The first part I introduce you here once.

It very resembles the very first report, which ran in January at RTL Hessen…

RTL Hessen will broadcast the 5-part series in early June.

If I do not have to hang in front of the telly 😏 … I enjoy the wonderful spring – even in the rain: “Mayrain makes you beautiful” it says.
Most of the time I ride my bike – that’s a lot easier for me than a walk. Today, however, just before sunset, there was such a magical spring atmosphere in the Hochheim air. Somehow the birds chirped especially easy … easy like Sunday morning 😉 or Friday evening. So I grabbed Miko and just started walking in the vineyards. Mostly I manage 400m, then I turn back. The last few times were sometimes even 600m in it 💪. On the way back I have to take a short break and sit down for a moment. And today … I went for a round that I have not done in a long time – for the last time a good year ago, I think. It is a round of about 1500m. Without a break I walked through the beautiful May. I celebrated myself for it, so it’s better! In front of Moscow it was already over after 200m, a way back was unthinkable. And then suddenly there was a very familiar smell in my nose: irises!

You can certainly remember the badge that Dr. Fedorenko handed over to my stem cell birthday and its importance.


The iris is said to remind me to carry on / hold out when it gets difficult during recovery or I run out of patience. And during my already wonderful walk, my Iris-friends suddenly grew wonderfully fragrant 🙂

But, as the iris reminds us, it’s a lengthy process. My left hand is currently not in great shape and can be controlled a bit more difficult – but I give myself time.












I give myself time with everything, all day long. At first I was still very impatient and wanted to regenerate as fast as possible and annoyed me when I got tired. Meanwhile, I sleep in the morning for a long time and then take a lot of time for each activity, as much as I need. I myself set my pace. So the day goes around very quickly, although I have “done” only one or at most two small tasks. That’s okay too.

To remind me that time is what I need now, I’ve been hanging a note on the mirror for a few weeks now.



“Give yourself time” is there. A sentence that my stem cell sister Stina had told me over and over again at the time when I was still pretty impatient with myself.

Thank you Stina 🙂 It is the most important sentence that I’ve heard and read over and over again like a mantra – and then I got it, hehe.










My blood counts are good, according to my hematologist, although they continue to fluctuate. I have one of my weekly appointments with her again next Monday, then she’ll explain to me again exactly why it’s fluctuating and why that’s okay;)

I do not have to take medication anymore since the treatment – Yeah! I’m really more than happy about that. For that, I take a handful of vitamins and minerals every day that help my body stabilize and, if he likes, heal a bit too 🙂


Every day I take as 10 different and colored tablets and capsules.

Especially vitamin B, high doses for the nerves (which have been damaged by the MS).

In addition to Vit B 12, one capsule also contains uridine monophosphate, which supports the regeneration process in the case of neuronal damage – which makes it very suitable!

Then I take magnesium, also good for the nerves and for the brain – that has holes in me, so with the “salt of rest”.

In Moscow, iron deficiency was diagnosed. According to Dr. Fedorenko I stood with my who just about anemia. But I have researched that the Russians have different normal values ​​than Germans do. Well, according to our local tables I am still in the lower limits. Anyway, I take iron – if not more every day since my value has improved.

Then we have those green capsules – hehehe … that’s Moringa! Here at german home still relatively unknown, in the US but a veritable trend. The Moringa tree or miracle tree, grows uncomplicated, fast-paced and you can use everything about it. Moringa trees are considered to be the most nutritious plants in the world, a so-called superfood. In many developing countries, the tree is used to combat malnutrition. In the media, Moringa is made more nutritious than it really is, so no miracle tree;) But because it is nonetheless very nutritious, two capsules a day come into my tablet box.

A recommendation of ex-patients from Australia was then still alpha lipoic acid against oxidative nerve damage.

I also take quite a lot of Vitamin D3! A vitamin D deficiency was also found in Moscow and was also confirmed here. With vitamin D, studies are repeatedly made in MS, as a deficiency should adversely affect the course. Better a little more vitamin D than too little is the motto, so I take a lot of it.

And while I’m at it, I also take vitamin A for the eyes – they’re getting worse and worse.

So my body gets a lot of tools to tinker and build.

In this sense, I wish you a nice weekend and continue to have a great May. And should it rain again, remember: put yourself into it and enjoy;)

I would like to say THANK YOU again for your great support. I think again and again of the eight weeks in which you have made possible my new life. I still can not really grasp what happened there, it’s just so beautiful. During my time in Moscow, but especially after that, I have had moments in which I have been consumed by it. Who once experienced this (and that will probably be the least), who can understand what I mean. It’s really hard to tell anyone else what an experience it was and is! I still remember how I was completely overwhelmed at the beginning, so I kept crying. One or the other will remember. That was just gratitude, I think. You fought with me – for me and my life. Even if I have not written it here for a while, there really is not a day when I do not think and feel it: Heart Thank!




RTL Television

May 11th, 2019

Hello, dear ones,

I would like to inform you that the article about me and my ride to Moscow EVENTUALLY will be broadcasted next Monday, 13 May 2019 at german Television called RTL Punkt 12.

It will be a report in two parts, the first part may be broadcasted next Monday 12 o’clock midday. The date is not so certain, because current topics are in the news and of course they are not predictable.

Who has nothing to do 😉 can have a look at RTL Punkt 12. If it should not be broadcasted, then perhaps on the next day same time.

Besides there will be at 6pm with the regional RTL Hessen a 5-part report row, which could start also on Monday.

So let’s have a look! 😉

I’ll keep you up to date!

holistic healing process


Hello my dears,

after the new era, today I am exactly two months and one day old;)

And I’m still fine and I think better and better, even if it feels like my stem cell sisters and stem cell brothers have prophesied: I’m in a roller coaster. On some days I feel a lot better, on other days the old symptoms are worse than before treatment. But that is normal and was to be expected. This roller coaster will usually take six to twelve months to stabilize.

Right now I am in Bernau near Berlin. My longest and very, very good friend Mica lives here together with her dear husband Andreas in the countryside. She is a shaman and I’m not just here to relax – but also to release inner blocks and indulge in wholesome ceremonies. Partly this is a painful but in the long run a very salutary process. Anyone who is familiar with such rituals knows that something “comes up” that I want to look at and disintegrate. Above all, this serves for the inner, deep inner sorting, for internal clarification and cleaning. If illness originates on a mental or subtle level, I do everything I can to make my mind and body a wholesome environment in which to have a healthy immune system.




Here are some news:

Some of you will remember my articles in the ‘Weinstadtjournal’. Alexander Hartmann made me the offer of a permanent author place last week, so that I can now freely and regularly write for the online magazine. I am very happy about it! I will also link my articles there regularly. Then you will also regularly read something from me more often 🙂

RTL is also in the make 🙂 I was given a handheld camera to Moscow to film itself. I did that very extensively so that several hours of video material came out of it. The editor Rafael Fleischmann has now completely spotted the material and cut it into several units. As soon as the broadcast date is fixed, I will inform you about it.


Monday, April 22, 2019

Hello my dears,

today is April 22nd, 2019. This was the original date on which I was to fly to Moscow. Do you remember? Due to my worsening condition, I had requested an earlier appointment – and was able to be admitted on 18.02.2019. My actual date of admission in Moscow would have been today … 🙂

Today I have the treatment already behind me. Exactly 34 days ago I landed back in Germany again and at home.

It all happens so fast … Somehow I have the feeling right now that I can not really experience the things that happen, not really.. These are moments that happen while they are already passing me – without at least a moment to stay. Without being aware of it and watching it for a while. Since November 2018, that’s how it has been since the beginning of my “journey” – I sometimes feel like I’m in a flip book! … bssssssssss, finished!

How am I? Tomorrow I have another appointment with my hematologist, who determines my blood levels. I’m curious if or how the blood levels have settled in the meantime. Otherwise I enjoyed the sun for the last few days and even cycled. Life is just good! Also, Miko was happy that I once again take a trip with him – because I could not be on a trip with him for months. So really nice.

Back there you can see Miko running after me 🙂 But do not worry,  Miko is fitter than the video suggests. Most of the time he ran next to me 🙂

Nice together, what a great dog!


There have also been moments when I could run really well, even uphill. I continue to do  sit-ups and squats regulary to regain my muscles.Bildergebnis für kniebeugen comic

Next week I have an appointment with a trainer, who creates a training schedule with me. But, as I said, there were already really fit moments when I could walk well and persistently, as if the MS had never been there – ok honestly, I’ve only ever had that moment once. But hey, I had it and it was amazing. I am pumping myself with all the vitamins that help me to regenerate. If there is a chance that existing damage can improve, I will provide my organism with the necessary funds.


Also mentally I feel better now. The cortisone seems to break down and I feel almost like the “old one” 😉 In addition, I’ve bought a wig, as you may have just seen on the video by bike. That feels good! As I have already reported, it is difficult to describe how it feels without hair – as a woman. At first, baldness even gave me strength, as an expression of an MS warrior. After only a few days, however, I missed my own femininity – which I also find in my hair, which I was not aware of until now. Because I did not have a long Cinderella splendor – and yet. Hair also seems to be a kind of protection, on a mental level. With hair, I feel better “me”, the bald leaves me open and offers no retreat. It is difficult to describe. In any case: I have hair again!

The selection was not easy, I visited several wigs shops. I thought it was simple: I choose beautiful hair, put it on – done. But nothing there. Every wig looks different than it does on your own head – the hair really does look and feel completely different than on the doll’s heads. I certainly had over 50 wigs on, of which 48 looked as if Carnival. Or as I park outside my Manta.

Finally I reached into my pocket and bought a real hair wig. My own real hair is not starting to grow yet and that will probably take a few more months. I should expect it at the earliest in 3-5 months. And honestly … I’m tired of the caps. They do not suit me and especially in warm weather I do not like them. Alternatively, I can tie myself a cloth – that suits me, but after x days of cloth, I feel slowly like grandma “Betty”. And the bald is uncomfortable, it pulls.

So … once invested in good mood and self esteem and Ta-Daaaaaaa:


Looks almost like my “old” hair, I think. And this “normality” just feels super good and gives back a lot of energy.

The bald head has its advantages, of course, you have to say. My stem cell sister Stina from Norway said recently that she enjoys it using only a shower gel, quick. And when she appears in public with the bald head, people treat her very friendly. And yes, I noticed that too. Previously I heard horror stories like that, you would also be ridiculed why you show yourself so “radical”. I have never experienced something like that personally. On the contrary, I am doing the same experience as Stina. The strangers to me, e.g. at the cash register or any location, I feel more consciously, so my impression – they are friendly and somehow more open. And that shows me: people are good!
I already had the same experience during my fundraiser. I did not know what to expect when I asked for support so openly. And of course I had also expected negative reactions, e.g. what I would think, that I am outrageous or or. But really true, there were only positive reactions. So again: people are good!

Honestly, I have to say, there was one negative reaction – at the Hochheim Christmas market when I had my information booth. A skeptical lady was upset about the stem cell transplantation in MS, this she has never heard of and do not believe in it, something like that. At that time, however, I was in the bathroom and my friend Iris, who was accompanying me to the booth, dedicated herself to the lady. So I myself did not notice anything about this only negative reaction.

Ähnliches Foto

But, back to the topic: Hair is important! And I am very, very happy about my new human hair wig:


And by the way, the wig is also a bit of fun 🙂

Many of you will already know the video from Facebook or Instagram. This was created during an Easter trip to domain Mechthildshausen.

Bildergebnis für frecher smiley Sometimes it is simply tempting to irritate the people around you. And while laughing about yourself Ähnliches Foto


So my dears, the next days I will let you read something again. Maybe then I can already announce the broadcast date of RTL Television.

All the best and enjoy the spring! Life is beautiful! Open senses and HEART, so let luck in. Sometimes we forget that from everyday life. Give the flip book no chance. Maybe we only live once, and we should do that with love and joy. (Also, if we live several times, we should do that!). Love and joy we find in the NOW, tomorrow brings always another tomorrow and then you lose yourself.

I would like to thank you all again. You have made it possible for me to feel so light and happy. Life has become unpredictable again.


Therefor thank you very much! Ähnliches Foto Thanks also to all those who follow my blog and accompany my situation. This creates a WE feeling that has kept and still keeps me strong in so many difficult moments and holds.


April 11, 2019

Hello my dears,

yesterday, my dear school friend Sebastian Lapke has taken some pictures of me again. In this special and momentous moment of my life.


Most of you will already know this image from Facebook. I have received a lot of positive feedback on this picture – it radiates happiness and strength.

I must admit that at this time in some moments it is difficult for me to perceive my own power. In many situations I search for her.

So without hair you feel naked and vulnerable. A woman without hair … in weak moments I feel defenseless. I did not think it mentally matters that much. But it does.

In addition, the head is always cold, even in the apartment. The bald men among you will know that for sure. It’s just always pulling up and the body releases its heat up … even at night! That’s why I now use a sleepyhead


Fancy, right? 😉

Yeahhhhh… I’m just on the way up. After my mood low, I have gained new motivation for the path that lies ahead. It is the third phase. And I think I can “skin” my Matryoshka again soon and move on to the stage with the sailing ship. My blood levels are good and stable. The sailing ship is going to be the heaviest and longest phase … It really gets on the nerves (in the truest sense of the word) to wake up in the morning with leaden legs that make it difficult to make it to the bathroom. Some days, the old symptoms are worse than before. This is normal, so I should not scare me (but do it in some understandable way anyway) and it will be the next 3, 6 to 12 months. I’m curious.

Now I’m getting better and better. I diligently train my athrophised muscle groups and dare on some days a walk that succeeds me well with breaks – so really good!

Yes, it is a long journey. The focus was on the treatment, which of course is the basis for everything else. Here, many people shivered and hoped that everything goes well. I have to tell you honestly, dentist is worse;). The treatment in Moscow was really okay. Now is the phase in which I personally fight. This phase now tears at the nerves (in the truest sense). The chemo was a physical procedure, now follows the mental. Because the fight is just different. Therefore, I am all the more pleased that my body is so alive and can be persuaded to go for a walk. Activity just works so well and I miss it! I also miss a bitnhe stress and doing many things at the same time 🙂 I should refrain from saying literature and good advice …

I’m happy when I’m fully back!







Everyday life

April 08, 2019


Dear Ones,

The day before yesterday I had my one-month stem cell birthday 🧚♂️🦋🍾 and it is tomorrow (Tuesday) already exactly three weeks that I’m back from Moscow.

So slowly the roof falls on my head, walls coming closer and closer and I would like to be more active. After spending almost 8 weeks primarily lying or sitting, my muscles have receded. That’s why I’m doing a few exercises at home now, and oh well … I can not do a single squat! 😱

But now you have to know that I did not do a lot of squats before the treatment and also before the MS … 😅

It is still too early for a tough training program, but at least I will counteract the atrophy as far as I can.

Yes, that is what I am dealing with.

I communicate with my Stem Cell Sisters, who live in Australia and Norway and each fight their own fight, which is basically similar. This exchange is doing very well. I feel especially connected with my stem cell sister Stina from Norway. She has a stem cell birthday one day after me, but otherwise our treatment went in parallel. We came in and out of isolation on exactly the same days – during which time we communicated with knocking marks on the wall – because we share the same humor; 😉 of course, but also via the Internet.

Moscow was a special time that probably connects us forever. And it feels good to know someone who has experienced the same, shares the same fears, and feels the same hopes the same way.

It’s still a long way, Step by Step. “We have to give ourselfs time.” Stina always says.

It is tempting to believe that we have put this treatment behind us and then quickly return to our “life”. After all, this recovery path is just a phase of life. And I’m curious about the individual processes!

It is a long way – but it leads out of the MS! It’s a great opportunity you’ve given me!


Incidentally, RTL not only gave me a small handheld camera to Moscow to film a few impressions – they also visited me in Moscow. Presumably, a small contribution will be broadcast this month, this time nationwide. As soon as the broadcast date is fixed, I will tell you here.


I am glad that the media have found interest in the topic. It is time for other MS patients to be made aware of the way out of the impasse.


Dear ones, I wish you a nice week!

Long journey

April 02, 2019

Hello my dears,

I give a little sign of life from me …

Today I have been back from Moscow for exactly two weeks.

These two weeks have been very turbulent and were or are mainly associated with emotional low moods. I think this is a side effect of cortisone, which I have been given over 3 weeks high and is now degrading. Or / And it’s the hormone metabolism that has been compromised by chemo. But most of all, it’s this whole procedure that is now falling away from me.

I try to sleep a lot – because I actually feel very exhausted. I must admit that it is not easy for me to give this rest.

After all this great active time – this overwhelming fundraiser and then the treatment in Moscow, calm returns. I am slowly starting to realize what has happened in the last months and weeks. It is done now. But what I miss urgently is a result. This uncertainty as to whether the treatment was effective or will be effective is difficult to bear.

Now I have to recover first and regenerate, as it is called beautiful. This means that I now passively fight – that’s hard for me.

In any case, my blood values ​​have developed relatively well again, so they sent me home without further antibiotics. My hematologist here in Germany is also happy with the development. So I do not live in isolation, I may receive visitors (if healthy), the Miko is with me again and I am free to move. In the supermarket or at much visited places but I wear a mask – not to infect me, if someone coughs.

This is the current state of affairs.

My biggest concern right now is whether the treatment has struck – because there is indescribable hope associated with it. I have to give myself time and that is not easy.

Especially as the symptoms in the coming months are likely to initially worsen until they come to the starting point (and with very, very good luck to improve). So patience is needed. That’s why Dr. Federenko also gave me the symbol of the iris (see blog from 06.03.2019, my second birthday). The iris should remind me at this time to remain positive and not to despair. So it’s a long and exhausting way that lies ahead. At the same time, I feel very exhausted, physically as well as emotionally … But I also know, it will not be long, then I will be motivated and optimistic – as always it was 😊

And there are also little moments of happiness;)
The other day I washed my hair with my favorite shampoo (in words: H a i r)! I had to laugh tears, this moment was just too absurd. But it was nice 😅!

Of course I’ll keep you up to date.
However, as I said, calm and giving time has returned, so there is not much to report. As soon as I have overcome the zombie existence or if some thoughts come to me in the meantime, I let you participate.

Lovely wishes!

Back home again


Dear Ones,

On 18.03.2019 a detailed final discussion took place, which I recorded on tape, since there was a lot of information.
Compared to the MRI device in Germany, the device in Moscow seemed to be more accurate. Overall, significantly more lesions / lesions of MS were seen, especially in the cervical spine. The recordings were given to me in the original on a large slide and as a CD.
The cervical spine had always intuitively been the area that had worried me most …

Dr. Federenko showed me all these many big and small, long and short, but very many holes on my nerves … – and he said: “what we saw here was dangerous – and would have led in the next few months with a high probability of disability . ”

That’s what I felt and suspected – at last I could only go 200m for a while ….

“We stopped it!” said Dr. Federenko and took me in the arm. “In time!”

I can not describe it to you in words, what I feel.

It is a new life. It’s on time. It was the right decision.

You gave me this chance!

On 19.03.2019 I said goodbye to Moscow. It was a very moving moment.

For further questions, please contact Dr Federenko and his assistant Anastasia via WhatsApp on their mobile phone numbers and email. This is so common.
In the summer of 2020, I will once again travel to Moscow to check for Moscow.

Otherwise, I will be provided by my hematologist in Germany.

I am happy.
I am MS-free now.
The MS has left a lot of damage, more than expected.

And it takes time and patience for these damages to regenerate.
Dr. Federenko says that is unpredictable. If the damage has already scarred, regeneration is unlikely. But if there are fresh wounds, there is a chance. He can not see that.

I’m an optimist;) and I’ll keep fighting. The actual way begins only now …

But the body needs the next three months exclusively for recreation. I also realize that I am exhausted. But a little more than expected … For an hour to enjoy a cup of tea or coffee in the sun for me is just action and activity pure – then I’m actually exhausted and fall into a deep sleep phase.
I’m trying to arrange that right now;)

I am exhausted, but I am happy.

Last procedure – Rituximab


Saturday, March 16, 2019

So dear ones, today I get again a rather prophylactic, but valuable treatment.

If somewhere a sick B lymphocyte could have been hiding, the rituximab will kill her.

Broom clean, as they say! – or no, just not! Broom clean was yesterday;) Number sure! We do not do things by halves! 💪 Here is whining!

The procedure now lasts a total of 5 hours, as usual I am well supervised. Allergic reactions, such as B. chills or heart pressure are to be expected. Every 20 minutes (in reality it’s every 8 minutes) somebody looks after me. Besides, you showed me the red button. 😂🙏

Then I will have driven here again and again. 🌞

That’s something nice, honest!

Well, now, I’ve been over three hours, they’ve been a bit faster for 1.5 hours and now only come in every 30 minutes. Or, if I press the red button. I’m not pushing. Not hot, not cold, completely relaxed. Bissi exhausted, but I’ll treat myself.

That’s it then! 🧚♂️🍾


A bottle is the cortisone that ran first. The small bottle was the second, acetaminophen. And now the rituximab runs for a total of 5 hours.

Rituximab is a monoclonal antibody against the cell marker CD20, which occurs mainly in B cells – where the MS squats. The drug rituximab therefore binds to these cells and leads to cell death. It is deliberately used after stem cell transplantation etc., just for the final ground section.

Rituximab is used in non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, various forms of leukemia, severe rheumatoid arthritis, and graft rejection, among others. It has also been shown to be effective in certain autoimmune diseases such as multiple sclerosis.
It’s only a prophylactic in my context, to be sure.


My new birthday!

Saturday, 09.03.2019

Hello my dears,

I’m writing to you just from the isolation, in which I am now for about a week. Everything went smoothly, my new stem cells are transplanted and this morning my leucocyte value was 0.1%! This means that the old immune system has now gone to Nirvana and my new life begins. Or to talk to Dr. Federenkos words at noon today to say: “o, 1%, your immune system is completly dead now – congratulation!” 🙂 Hahaaa, that’s what I call a meaningful sense of humor!

What did I have a nice stem cell birthday! This clinic here and the people I share this trip with are wonderful. It’s not just a clinic, it’s almost like a guru camp with infusions. 😉


March 6, 2019: My Stem Cell Birthday!

At first, Dr. I gave a speech to Federenko, which I have incorporated here as a video and translated, because the Russian accent and the sound altogether might otherwise be difficult to understand.

Then he infected me as usual in this clinic a badge with the flower Iris and also said a few words that I set you as a video and text.

As another tradition, I have recorded the pouring of the MS, also here again a video and pictures. The ritual is repeated three times, symbolically – to disperse the MS in liquid nitrogen (I think the autologous stem cells were kept here and this now symbolizes the process of separation).

And then there are pictures of the party and the beautiful cake that I baked – based on my Russian Matroyshka, whose backstory I wanted to tell you too. This again in the video and with pictures and text.

Have fun! And you will get to Dr. Recognize the importance of YOU in my healing process! It’s just not just this treatment, but the positive energy and support of loving people in life. And you are so many and you are so authentic in it and that gives me so much power. That’s why I’m so happy. Deepheart-Thankyou very much !!


Original in Englisch:

We had six successful transplantation today, but some of our friends are tired and change their decision to make the celebration tomorrow.
To be honest, everybody is okay, no problems and no side affects.

But Katja is the strongest one. From the beginning she admitted to hospital I saw her only smile. Only high level motivation. Only energy to fight Multiple Sclerosis. No doubts! No doubts at all. Maybe I had doubts, but you…. no!

me:(What you had doubts, why?)

So we are the team, we work in proporation. And sometimes medical team needs your support. When we are tired, when we exhausted, when we have stops to go ahead, to make decision about difficult medical situation – we need your support. You also need our support.
You/we need your family, your children, your parents, your husbands, your wifes – Support!

It is impossible to fight Multiple Sclerosis only using transplantation. You can fight MS only, if we are the team and when we combine the transplantation with our energy.
If it’s pain: lots of power, energy from our brain and heart and: kill the monster! Mentally using all our energy, motivation and of course synthetic based high dosed chemo therapy.
And of course day 0 – this is like a birthday. Birthday, when we give stemmcells back. Symbolicaly in this day, person starts to have new immunsystem and stop to have wrong immunsystem. It’s symbolic.
And your transplantationday is day zero. Today is your day 0 – your birthday. Congratulations!
Thank you very much for your support.
me:(Uuuh – my new life!)




Original in Englisch:

And this is your Iris. You know, Iris is symbol of our family. Our New life.
Iris symbolize ability to fight all difficulties. To go through the difficulties. After feeling down to stand up and go ahead successfuly. Your life is a new life without the disease.
And you can notice: Iris has three leafes – one, two, three. Past is the desease. Present is how we are fighting the disease. And future is diseasefree.
Or another tradition, 3 is magic number in many philosophies: This is your body, this is our brain and this is our heart. From these levels we need to fight our problems.
Because to cure the disease, we should use modern technologies. But also we should change something in our own, in our lifes, in our relationsship. So we will be successful.
This is your Iris.
me:(This is my Iris).
It is yours.

This atmosphere is not a hospital atmosphere – it inspires! I can’t feel like in hospital – it is impossible! Everybody shares my experience.

And another tradition we have… latly treatlegion.. Are you ready?
me: (Yes, I am ready).
Especially for you!



So and this other tradition, the latent treatment;), that is the release from the liquid nitrogen. And we say


So that’s what he was, my wonderful second birthday. Then followed a small special private party with my special birthday cake, which I was allowed to share with the dearest people here on my station.

And the cake and the birthday were for me in the spirit of my Matroyshka. I finally tell you this special story behind it.

I bought a Matroyshka that will accompany my recovery process. The idea came about because this healing process will be quite long and energetic – and it’s hard to hold on without it to lose the necessary energy. Therefore the following idea:

Every single Matroyshka I give a milestone that I want to achieve. Each will accompany me in this particular phase. Starting with the first shell that falls. On her is the Firebird and I attribute the healing magic to him. He is sitting on a tree with apples (stem cells). This shell will fall if I leave Moscow.

The second Matroyshka symbolizes the harvest of the stem cells. In this process my body will reorganize its new immune system. This is the phase in which I have to pay special attention to germs, have regular blood count checks and probably wearing a common face mask.

The third Matroyshka will probably accompany me the longest. On it is a ship to see. With her I sail on the ocean of regeneration: hard training, rehab, whatever is needed to use the MS stop to rebuild. In this time setbacks are expected, some patients speak of sudden spasticity, etc. Just as the sea is flat, sometimes wild, sometimes gracious. On to new shores!

The fourth Matroyshka shows apples – my stem cells. My new immune system. Strong and healthy! When I have achieved that …

… I turn out the core – the little beautiful last Matroyshka. She carries the wing of the magic fire bird in the heart.

Well, and fittingly, dear Alexey Derkatch, who showed me some Moscow on my day off, organized a cake for me. Because coincidentally, the 15-year-old son of his girlfriend has just been awarded the best pastry chef in Moscow. And his mother is an artist. So they got together and conjured up this beautiful and otherwise absolutely sugar-free and only with real ingredients baked and absolutely delicious birthday cake!

Yes 🙂 And after that we ate, laughed and smoked. With our coats, masks and party hats.

It was such a special evening.

And even Dr. Federenko thanked him the next day, because he thought it was so nice and got up in a good mood. He could now work hard for the next 10 years 🙂 Please, so it was worth it!

Soooo .. and now I am in isolation. That means: contact to the outside only through the glass. I wear a cotton cowl that fits the bald head – and great in combination with the “dreadlocks”, as I call them; So the catheter through which I receive regular infusions and through which the blood samples are taken. My blood pressure and my temperature are checked three times a day – this is photographed and dr. Federenko delivered. He visits the clinic once or twice a day. In addition, I wash with special antibacterial or disinfecting water, get a fresh cowl twice a day, change the bed every day, wipe it clean – and clean the air throughout with a special air cleaning system.

hang looose…


And so I look now;)

New Stemmcell Buddha.




Actually, I meditate a lot, which is so good for me. Every now and then I read your cards and look at your lucky charms. Or I read my entire blog again from beginning to today … what a way! It is not just a treatment, but an absolute turning point in my life. It is also necessary to reach my goal. I want to get well again and I know that I can do it. The next weeks and months will show me what is necessary. I love life so much, I will get well with all my strength!

That you support and accompany me, I can only say it again and again: my HEART THANKS for it! Because it is so important and it gives me such a power. Thanks again, thank you!